Another year separated

Another year separated, means another year of birthdays, another Christmas, mothers day, fathers day and of course your ex’s birthday.  I have mixed emotions on my ex’s birthday.  I’ll start with the end emotion, the feeling to be remembered.  This feeling is that I am ok.  So this is an interesting dive into my self-talk.  The day, (and in the past it was the proceeding days but now it is just the day) starts with dread, uncertainty, disappointment and detachment.  Detachment I hold onto because I remember, I am who I am and I am happy and he is who he is and we are separated.  For 22 years, his birthday was a highlight of every year.  Now we are separated, I have to prepare my children for his birthday because as their mother it is my responsibility to help mentor them in all of their relationships and their relationship with their father is important to be explicit.  I am mildly forlorn that I do not have someone special in my life to spoil for their birthday or more specifically to surprise and spoil me. I know, I have 5 special someone’s who I spoil for their birthday.  An incredible reminder of how lucky I am, how grateful I am that I know love, a parents love to and from their child.  I can hold this feeling.  Parent love and romantic love is different but love is love.  I am love.

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